RECIPES

Here you can find ALL SORTS OF AWESOME RECIPES!

• popcorn🍿
• oatmeal cookies🍪
• pizza🍕
• rice with beans 🍚🫘
• garlic sauce🧄
• Pita with fries🥙
• frikandel speciaal

HOW TO MAKE POPCORN

First get some corn that you can pop(now you also know where the name comes from), pick a pan and a pan that covers the other pan. Also pick lots of sugar because you like lots of sugar. Don't lie to me.

1. Heat up both pans. Make them hot, but make sure you don't burn them. This is not easy I already destroyed lots of pans but my mom never gets mad because I try
2. Now when they're hot put some corn in it. A few table spoons. As much as possible, but make sure they don't stack onto each other.
3. Put the other pan onto the pan
4. Wait. This is the hardest phase. Keep the pan hot, but don't make it too hot, you'll burn the popcorn.
5. Get nervous
6. Question life
7. Hear the relieving sound of popping popcorn
8. Now wait again until the war between the popcorn is finally over
9. Whoa it is war in there
10. Wait until the war stops. This is not a hard phase.
11. Turn the gas low, remove one of the pans, so you can put sugar in it
12. Put sugar in it. I reccommend 2 or 3 times the amount of table spoons of sugar as you put corn in it. You can do more of course :))))
13. Okay that might be too much. Or too little. Or perfect. I can't remember
14. wait for the sugar to caramelize
15. Get more nervous this time
16. See it caramelizing? Good! Now stir! but don't touch it, you'll burn
17. STIR!
18. JUST A LITTLE MORE...!
19. Done.
20. HAVE FUNS!!! 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

If you get confused with the pans, this crappy image might help, or it will make you even more confused

🍪🍪🍪 HOW TO MAKE THE BEST COOKIES 🍪🍪🍪 IN THE WORLD 🍪🍪🍪^{might not actually be the best cookies in the world but either way they're VERY good I love them}

these cookies are sweet, crusty(?), easy to make and awesome.

Ingredients

• 80 gram (vegan) butter. Yes butter. no margarine or that kind of stuff. Butter.
• 100 gram dried, rolled oat(oatmeal or something, I don't know the correct english word)
• 100 gram sugar👏👏👏
• a teaspoon of sodium bicarbonate(or any kind of baking powder)
• optionally some flour(used to make the cookie stuff stick better)

Other requirements

• An oven(160°C)
• A baking plate
• A bowl(if you like to live dangerously this one is optional)
• ???

AND NOW THE EXECUTION

1. put the oven on at 160°C
2. Add the oat, sugar, sodium bicarbonate, and butter into the bowl
3. knead it all together until all ingredients are mixed and it sticks together in a large ball. If it doesn't stick, try to add flour, or get creative(more oat/butter)
4. Notice that the stuff on your hands is actually really tasty
5. make small balls, like a ping-pong ball(~4 cm in diameter), and put them on the baking plate with space in between them(!). Or you could make a huge big one
6. Bake them in the oven for ~20 mins. This is the hard part
7. Judge if they're done, otherwise leave them a little longer in the oven
8. If they're done, take them out and leave some time to cool 'em down.
9. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!(by now you are probably nauseous because you licked too much stuff from your hands)

Pizza

K SO HERE IT IS, THE PIZZA RECIPE!1!! well it's a pizza recipe. This is how I learned to make Pizza. I noticed that there are a lot of ways to make pizza, and they all taste different. I've liked every Pizza I have tried so far. Please send me your ways to make pizza! I'd love to try them!

Also this recipe costs A LOT of time, skill and patience compared to the popcorn and the cookies. But it only increases your satisfaction with the Pizza and it will make you proud of yourself.

Ingredients_{For 2 pizza's}

• 500 gram flour
• 50 gram Durum wheat flour(optional but highly recommended for crispyness)
• 7 gram LIVING YEAST (or whatever it takes to make your dough rise)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 325ml lukewarm water
• 1 teaspoon salt(preferably extracted from your haters)
• 1 can of peeled tomatoes(chopped)

Toppings of your choice:

• Salami
• Ham
• Mozzarella (or other cheese)
• Ananas(Pineapple)
• Egg
• Bacon
• Mushrooms!
• ANYTHINGGG YOU WANT!

Other requirements

• Oven (200°C)
• Multiple bowls

Steps to reproduce:

1. Put the flour and the salt in the bowl
2. Dissolve the yeast in lukewarm water
3. Mix the yeastwater and the flour (in the bowl)
4. Add olive oil
5. knead until you have a ball (10-15 mins this is hard)
6. Leave the dough to rise until the ball is twice the size you started with. This is typically after an hour
7. Meanwhile, pour the tomato's into the bowl. Add salt. Also add olive oil and oregano or something for extra taste
8. stir in the bowl
9. Wait for the dough to be ready
10. put the oven on at 200°C
11. put some flour onto a surface, then stretch it out until you get a pizza shape. A cylinder can help you with that.
12. throw it in a pizza tin(optional)
13. Put the tomato mix onto the pizza
14. Bake the future-pizza in the oven for ~20 minutes
15. Take it out, top your pizza
16. Put it back in and wait for a few minutes(depending on toppings)
17. SCREAM
18. Take it out
19. Now you have a pizza!
20. CONGRATULATIONSssss! 🍕

Rice with beans 🍚🫘

A cheap, easy, all-plant recipe, I've cooked many times.

If the rice packaging is to be believed, this is for 2 persons. This will yield at least 300 gram cooked rice, excluding the beans. Though I eat this on my own, I eat quite a lot but still don't really gain weight and feel often hungry, not sure why.

Ingredients:

• 160g whole grain rice
• 1 tsp olive oil(or more)
• 1 yellow onion
• Whatever seasonal vegetables you have access to. In the winter the carrot is cheap(which takes a while to cook, you might want to boil it real quick if you want to speed it up), in the summer maybe half a courgette and/or bell pepper, a tomato or two is also great because it makes it more moist.
• 1 can of beans(~240 g drained weight), I prefer kidney. Make sure there isn't too much salt in it. This is for ease, but you can obviously also just cook them yourself.
• Seasoning. You could use any seasoning, really. I'm not good at it so I buy cheap curry mixture from the cheap supermarket. It doesn't have to be expensive, I got 45 g for 0,77 EUR(LIDL, 2022).

6 steps to success

1. Cook tha rice.
2. While the rice is cooking, olive oil in the pot
3. chop up the vegetables, and let them fruit in the pot. first the onion probably, then the rest. If you cook it hot then the veggies will have more taste to them
4. Almost done fruiting? Add the seasoning, and then the beans to the pot.
5. add the rice
6. Enjoy!

Poor soul's garlic sauce 🧄

I don't often use garlic sauce so I can't really buy it without wasting a lot, and the same goes for the ingredients to make it yourself. So, I present a stripped down version: Poor soul's garlic sauce!

Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp of (vegan) mayonaise
• a small piece of garlic. If it's big do 3 tbsp of mayonaise
• (optional) bit of black pepper

how to reproduce:

1. put the mayonaise on a plate or in a bowl
2. garlic press the garlic, add it to the sauce along with some pepper
3. stir
4. Enjoy!

Pita bread with fries

I had made some fake shwarma and still had some pita bread left. I didn't want to throw them away, not sure what to do with them, and then I thought: why not fill it with fries? (dis)honourable mention to chip butty

It tasted better than I expected. It is doable without sauce or other toppings, but I like it more with sauce.

Requires: an oven or airfryer, or a deepfryer along side a toaster

Ingredients:

• pita bread. Or just normal bread
• fries
• (optional) other toppings, such as poor soul's garlic sauce, cucumber or tomato

how to reproduce:

1. deepfry or bake the fries
2. while your fries are exposed to high temperatures, put the pita bread in the toaster
3. put the chips into the pita bred
4. BON APETIT~!

Frikandel Speciaal

Frikandel: a cheap, dutch, weird, long, brown cilinder made of remaining meat. Surprisingly tasty, not very healthy(it's OK to eat it once in a while if you eat well). Goes really well with fries. Add some salad or something, and you've a meal!

also I made a joke paper about frikandels: frikandel.pdf

Ingredients:

• (vegetarian) Frikandel
• Onions
• Curry/Mayonaise/Ketchup in your favorite ratio

STEPS

1. Heat your fryer to about 180°C!
2. Carefully put your hard frikandel in there
3. Heat it for ~4 minutes
4. Chop your onions to fine little pieces!
5. Get your frikandel out of there
6. Make a cut in the frikandel so you can put your stuff in it
7. Add the onions, curry/mayonaise/ketchup/whatever in there with your favorite amount!(experimentation. I encourage most curry, then mayonaise. Add ketchup if you like the taste of ketchup)
8. ENJOY!