Basically a journal post but a little more elaborate. Don't know what to call it.

So today I was kind of a little down. I had one of those surf-the-the-internet-like-a-zombie sessions and ran into a mental health indicative assesment list, and I filled it in. I got a normal result, and I wasn't surprised. Things have been good lately. I have more energy, I do stuff, I usually don't feel numb and I experience moments of happiness. I can conclude that my situation has improved the last two years, something I am glad about.

Of course there are still plenty of difficult things, social life, managing energy, where I want my life to go... there always be stuff like this.

Today I didn't feel nice in some aspects, but tomorrow is a new day, and it's nice to know that stuff has become better for me. No longer do I feel often sad or numb.

Ok different story. Friday I went to get a new passport since it expired. I forgot my ancient ID card so I couldn't get a new one, but then I stopped by the bicycle shop to look for a new bicycle. And boy have I found one, it's so much better than the thing I have now! Today I went back and ordered it in a bigger size, I look forward to using it. And also ordered a passport.

But it begs the question, why in the name of m. coïtus didn't I do this earlier? I just realised I have spent at least 4 years on a crappy bicycle, even though I ride it nearly every day. The gears a worn, it doesn't change gears properly, if you put too much torque on the pedals the chain jumps, the saddle/seat isn't high enough, the tires are worn... Why?

I did dread to go look for a new bicycle. Was it going to fit? How would I choose? I can't be sure which one is the best! But then it all turned out to be OK. Easy, even. Couldn't I make up my mind that I didn't need to choose earlier, and that I could always just try, nothing else? djeez...

Anyways, this inspired me to not do this again. My matress needs a replacement soonish, so I better look for one! 9(?) years ago I found a great one, so this time hopefully too!

and now some thoughts:

Also I don't know what to do with my site. Also I want to share personal stuff. But also not. And also, people I know know about my site. I don't know how to deal with this. Should I just put up super personal stuff? I don't know. I am worried that people will use stuff I write on my website against me. This is probably not realistic, but despite this it's still a worry like most worryworryworries. Or that it's super emberassing or something.

Anyways, I'll keep on going with my site and my life, see u l8r m8ies!!!!!!